"Gay men are mindlessly hypersexual, unethically promiscuous
and ceaselessly narcissistic- or so the worst stereotypes would have it. Rather
than refute these charges by painting a portrait of male homosexuals as just
like heterosexuals (except for one small detail), Nimmons, president of New
York's Lesbian and Gay Community Services Center, radically reinterprets gay
sexuality, intimate relationships and self-image. Using a wide range of scientific
surveys, anthropological studies, philosophical inquiries and personal observations
and anecdotes, Nimmons argues that gay male culture is arranged around highly
ethical behaviors that value the needs and health of both the individual and
the community. These values, he argues, are enacted through a wide range of
sexual practices and unconventional couplings (from one-hour tricks to open
long-term relationships), and are manifested in the community-building that
has accompanied the AIDS epidemic, as well as the broad range of mentoring
relationships between gay men. Noting that "gay relationships are distinct
from heterosexual relationships in that they are frequently based on expectations
of equality, reciprocity, and autonomy," Nimmons also examines how gay
men's relationships with women could present a model for heterosexual men
as well. While "the Bitchy Queen and her cousin once removed, cynicism"
are endemic to some realms of gay cultures, Nimmons is careful to place these
effects in a context of socially generated self-hating.
"The book is at its best, and most challenging, when
Nimmons makes his case with statistical data- his survey of the lack of violence
in gay male public spaces and relationships (as opposed to heterosexual male
spaces) is a model of social science-but these segments dovetail nicely with
his original and powerful sociological and philosophical arguments. (May)
Forecast: As the media continue to sift American culture for its strengths
in the aftermath of September 11, this book may be picked up by some reviewers
and pundits as it locates the kind of mutual recognition and support that
could be celebrated as resulting from democratic values THE NYLGCSC is a
high-profile
organization in New York; look for a push via NPR and other outlets.
-- Publishers Weekly April 15, 2002 (starred
review)